


Just Like Starting Over

by irisirene



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Fluff, Implied Sexual Content, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-08
Updated: 2016-03-08
Packaged: 2018-05-25 11:53:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6194179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/irisirene/pseuds/irisirene
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thanks to shore leave on an alien world, Chakotay finds himself opening up to new truths about Tom Paris...and himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just Like Starting Over

**Author's Note:**

> Title from the John Lennon song (Just Like) Starting Over. Not beta-read per se, so constructive criticism is welcome. :) Just a short little story I wrote in one night to get my writing back in swing. As I work my way through all seven seasons of Voyager, I keep finding myself thinking about Chakotay or Tom, so I figured I might as well use that to my advantage.

Fingertips ghosted over his eyebrow and his temple, tracing over his tattoo delicately, following the lines of it of with care. The sensation brought a drowsy half-smile to his face, his own hand coming up to reach for the questing fingers, clumsily pulling them to his lips to press a kiss against them. Languidly, Chakotay nuzzled the soft palm of the hand that had stroked him into wakefulness, his brown eyes slowly opening to take in the morning, a pleased feeling thrumming through his body from where it was in contact with another warm body. 

At first, bright sunlight obscured his vision, a confusing hindrance that served to remind of the fact that he was happily on shore leave once the initial surprise wore off, but his vision eventually adapted to the brightness and Chakotay turned to look at the body pressed beside him. He was instantly surprised to find beside him not the soft, curvy, body he was expecting and hoping to see, but the unmistakably masculine hard planes of a man. Wide-eyed, his eyes raised to the man’s face, only to come eye-to-eye with Tom Paris, of all people. 

As Chakotay merely stared at the man in surprise, his hand slowly pulling Paris’ away from his face as his own went limp, a softness that had been visible in Tom’s gaze slipped away, leaving a carefully guarded expression in its wake. Gently, Tom’s long-fingered hand pulled itself out of Chakotay’s slack grip, his posture stiffening in the same manner Chakotay’s had. 

“You don’t remember last night, do you?,” the pilot asked, his vibrant blue eyes betraying more hurt than Chakotay would have expected, especially given the impression he’d had of the Lieutenant’s sexual history. It caused an echo of sympathy in Chakotay, suddenly feeling guilty for hurting the man who’d evidently become his lover overnight. He was never a man who enjoyed hurting someone, intentionally or otherwise. Immediately, he began trying to remember the course of events that led them here, only to be met with fuzzy half recollections that he could hardly distinguish from imagination.

“No, I’m sorry, I don’t,” Chakotay spoke softly, turning onto his side to face Tom more easily, a faint blush crossing his cheeks as his movements dislodged the thin sheet covering his lower body, baring him to Tom’s gaze and the bright sunlight. Pushing his slight embarrassment aside, he did his best to focus on the last clear memory he had. The reception for Voyager’s crew on the Hath homeworld, held on the coastal region of the planet’s single continent, the perfect place for travel weary humans to relax after replenishing various supplies through a week-long series of trades. Hath greeting parties consisted of something akin to a Hawaiian luau, with live entertainment, a barbeque pit, and plenty of sun, surf, and sand. Mentally, Chakotay ran through what he could remember of the party, having a fun evening being regaled with the surprisingly light-hearted legends of the Hath, indulging in the local delicacies and some fruity drink concoction that Hath president was only too happy to provide him with. The last thing that he was able to recall clearly was feeling particularly relaxed and loose as he walked along the beach after sunset, watching the celebratory fireworks reflecting off of the periwinkle water and coming upon a man sitting on the edge of the surf, evidently enjoying the spectacle himself--Tom. 

Fuzzy snapshots flitted across his mind next; him sitting down next to an equally relaxed Tom and falling into a conversation, the likes of which they’d never shared. What exactly they discussed, Chakotay couldn’t be certain, but given the fact that he’d fallen into bed with Tom and the expression that the man wore both in his memory and now, he could only assume that it was of a significant nature. Next, he recalled heated moments of intimacy on the beach, sand making its way into his loose cotton clothing and his hair as Tom rolled him over onto the sand, pressing him into the earth as he was kissed within an inch of his life. Images of a grinning Tom, his blue eyes and golden hair flashing brilliantly in the stunning lights of the fireworks, filled his mind and he found himself taken by those views, an echoing sentiment that he knew he’d felt the night before. However, as he began to wonder whether or not those beautiful fruit drinks were deceptively innocent, and therefore the cause of his night with his subordinate, Chakotay felt oddly certain that it wasn’t the case. After all, Tom had imbibed the same substances as he did, yet the pilot still had memories of the night before. 

~  
Air rushed out of Tom in a great heaving sigh as he realized that Chakotay truly couldn’t remember much of the night before, dread slowly filling his stomach and making it sink as if it’d been cased in old-fashioned cement. Leave it to the Universe to finally give him what he wants, only to take it away in the single most humiliating way possible. Thanks to whatever the properties in that soothing little cocktail the Hath mixed up, he’d been serene and happy, albeit level-minded, and perfectly eager to tell the Commander just what had been on his mind after they’d been fighting on the same side again, working on Voyager again without the animosity of suspicion between them that had been present nearly since they’d met. Better yet, Chakotay had been drinking of the same vintage, so to speak, and willing to sit and listen to him intently, and even more willing to give him a genuine shot at becoming his lover. ‘So much for that,’ Tom thought.

Sighing again, softly this time, Tom took in the sight of a suddenly thoughtful and thoroughly guilty looking Chakotay, feeling bad for, well, making the Commander feel bad. ‘After all, it’s not his fault that he forgot and maybe it’ll come back to him,’ Tom pointed out to himself, not wanting to judge the man unfairly. Chakotay was many things but thoughtlessly careless of other people’s feelings was not one of them. Even if those feelings were his. 

“It’s okay, Chakotay,” he stated, turning around and sliding out of the warm bed, unwittingly giving the man in question an eyeful as he bent to pull on the loose fitting cotton shorts he’d worn the night before. That done, he sat back on the bed, facing Chakotay again. “What do you remember...anything?”

Tom was caught off guard by the reaction he received, a small thoughtful smile. “A little, yes. I remember most of the party, I remember how many drinks I had, I remember feeling calm, walking along the beach during the fireworks and running into you.” Chakotay’s smile widened slightly, making Tom’s heart quicken a little in hope. “I can’t say that I remember what we talked about, but I know that it was serious. That we both...shared a great deal.” Knowing what he knew about the Commander and his private nature, Tom at least got the feeling that Chakotay might have some inkling of what led him to fall into bed with the man he’d once considered a traitor. 

“That’s one way to put it,” Tom replied a little dryly, a slight smirk quirking the corner of his lips. For some reason, this inspired a grin from Chakotay, who leaned forward and reached out to place his hand on one of Tom’s where it rested on the sheets, an unconscious mirroring of their earlier actions. The Commander’s brown eyes reflected only warmth as they looked at Tom, reminding him of the evening before. 

“How would you put it, Tom?,” Chakotay asked, somehow seeming suddenly closer than he had moments ago. Tom couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow. ‘Well, at least he doesn’t find the very idea of me being intimate with him horrifying, like I was worried he might, given the reaction he’d had when he realized it was me he was naked in bed with.’

~

Silence reigned for a few moments as Tom carefully thought of a response to Chakotay’s question. The vulnerability of the situation had him considering another flippant joke, something to deflect from not only the seriousness of the moment but from the growing possibility that this could wind up hurting him. His eyes slipped from Chakotay’s, no longer able to handle the scrutiny of that brown gaze. “You’re right. Last night we did...share a lot,” he began, biting his lip for a moment as he paused. “I told you...some things about how I feel and you were willing to hear me out, so to speak.” Sighing again, Tom reached up to run his hand through his already messy hair. “I’m willing to chalk it all up to that magic reasonable juice we were both hopped up on,” he remarked softly, wanting to give Chakotay an out, if it would help him.

A furrow formed between Chakotay’s brows as he appreciated the gravity of the situation. So, this really had be initiated by Tom, but in a way he definitely hadn’t considered. “Feelings, huh?,” he asked, gently teasing, mirth shining in his eyes. ‘This, I could work with this,’ he thought, focusing on the little niggling warmth within in his gut, the instinct to not only see this through, but to bring about the same ecstatic grin he’d seen last night. “I suppose, while on, what’d you call it ‘magic reasonable juice’, I told you that we could...see where this goes?”

Blinking in surprise, it took Tom a moment to properly respond to Chakotay’s question with a nod, looking over at him once more, bravely meeting his gaze. “Something like that, yeah,” he replied, nodding again. “Listen, I’m not going to hold you to that now, unless--oh,” Tom cut himself off, a blush of his own forming on his face as he realized that Chakotay wasn’t just asking a question for clarification, but also using the situation as an opportunity to make another, possibly more sober offer.

“Now he gets it,” Chakotay teased, an outright grin forming on his face at the fact that he had the ability to surprise Tom so. Tom couldn’t help but chuckle at the teasing, turning his hand palm up underneath Chakotay’s, holding the other man’s hand back.

“Are you sure that you want this? You know I’m not exactly known for...well, anything that’s much good. At least, when it comes to interpersonal relationships. While I’m not really the love and leave ‘em type, that’s usually what winds up happening. If we go into this with any...misconceptions, things could screwed up really quick and--,” Tom found himself cut off mid-sentence, by Chakotay’s other hand coming to rest against his lips. Normally such a thing would result in him merely talking anyway, but he found himself oddly compelled to remain silent.

Still grinning warmly, Chakotay’s hand moved to cup Tom’s stubbled cheek, thumb stroking over the red-gold stubble. “I don’t think we’re really operating on misconceptions anymore, Tom. I also don’t think that what I want this morning is much different than what I wanted to try last night,” Chakotay spoke, licking his lips as his gaze darted to Tom’s perfectly shaped mouth. “Although, it wouldn’t hurt to hear what you had to say last night, again.”

Suddenly shy, Tom’s gaze dipped away again for a moment before returning, the expression in his blue eyes one that was difficult to pinpoint. It was fascinating to see Tom’s nearly overly confident fly-boy persona fall away before him, leaving the bare bones of the man himself exposed to his gaze. “I tell you anything you want to know,” the pilot offered sincerely, a sweet smile forming on his face.

As Tom leaned forward to press a gentle kiss to his lips, Chakotay thought to himself that he could definitely get used to this.


End file.
